Le 9 mai 2016, 08:57 dans Humeurs • 0
1. Ask empowering fitness classes hong kong questions
You’re walking down the street and see a beautiful woman walking past you and you have the urgeto approach her. What is going through your mind?
Most likely you’re asking yourself questions like, “what if she doesn’t like me?” or “what if I getembarrassed?”
There are two types of questions: empowering questions, and disempowering questions.Empowering questions cause you to take action, and disempowering ones causes you to freeze up.
The types of questions you ask yourself effects what you chose to focus on and thus, how you’llfeel.
When you focus on what can go wrong, you get approach anxiety. But when you focus on what cango right or what you can learn from the situation, you will feel empowered.
Men who expect women to want to engage with them ask questions that guide their mind to focuson the desired outcome. If you focus on what you want you’ll feel excited; if you focus on what youdon’t want, you’ll feel nervous.
The difference between a man who interacts confidently with women on a consistent basis and aman who doesn’t, comes down to the difference in the questions they consistently ask themselves.
If you ask disempowering questions (“what if she doesn’t like me and rejects me in front ofeveryone?”), your mind will look for answers, even if it doesn’t make rational sense. The responsewill sound like, “you might look stupid in front of everyone”. A response to a disempoweringquestion brings feelings of doubt and lack of confidence.
But if you ask empowering questions, such as, “what if she’s my next girlfriend?”, or “what can Ilearn from this regardless of the outcome?”, your mind will begin to look for answers, such as “Ican’t miss out! I must approach her!” or “I can use this as a reference experience to improve myconfidence with women,” your mind will respond with thoughts and emotions that will make youtake action.
Rather than asking disempowering questions, begin to become aware of whenever you noticeyourself asking disempowering questions and in exchange ask empowering question.
So if you hear yourself asking yourself, “what if she’s already taken?”, stop and interrupt thepattern by asking yourself, “what if she doesn’t have a boyfriend and she likes me?” or somethingalong those lines. The feeling of missing out on your next girlfriend or partner will cause you to takeaction.
Anytime you feel some doubt or uncertainty, become aware of the questions you have to answer toelicit that kind of emotional response. You can ask yourself, “What would I have to ask myself tofeel afraid of going for the kiss?” If you are aware enough you’ll notice you’re asking yourselfdisempowering questions such as “what if she rejects me?”
So take control of your mind and begin to ask yourself empowering questions so that you can expectmore out of life and increase your confidence with talking to women!
I always instruct my students to learn how to meditate because meditation enables you to be calmand relaxed in the presence of a woman.
Most guys suffer from anxiety when they chat up a beautiful woman. Learning how to meditate willenable you to actually be yourself because your true self is not inhibited by nervousness.
Studies show that meditation helps regulate stress. So before going out on a date or to a bar,meditate.
Studies also show that men who meditate are perceived as more attractive to women compared tomen who don’t meditate.
That’s the best way to pregame.
3. Be congruent
Being congruent is whenever you align with your thoughts, words and actions.
For example, If you want to kiss the girl, but hesitate because of fear of rejection, and you try to hideyour fear by acting confident, you’ll come off as weird and indecisive. Your thoughts are notaligned with your words and actions.
Being congruent is embracing how you feel and not being afraid to express it. If you want to kiss her,go for it. Don’t wait for the right moment, just do it.
But If you fear going for the kiss then don’t hide it as well. The willingness to show weakness is asign of a confident and naturally attractive man. The more you try to hide, the less confident you are.
If you feel nervous about approaching a girl, and you attempt to approach as though you’reconfident, it’ll come off as weird and creepy. That’s why most girls think guys are creepy: becausethey’re trying to put on an act. It’s better to embrace and accept that you feel nervous.
What shows more confidence, being nervous and trying to hide it or being nervous and not beingafraid to show it?
Sometimes when I’m feeling frustrated and I see a girl I like, I don’t try to approach trying to giveoff a happy vibe. I approach embracing my frustration, so the opener I use will sound similar to this:Damn, I feel so frustrated with things right now, but I thought you were cute and I had to approachyou.
That’ll come off genuine and charming. The more real you are, the higher the chance the girl willwant to listen to you.
4. Be self amused
One of the few reasons we love kids (just kidding) is because they know how to have fun on theirown; they know how to amuse themselves. If a child wants to run around and act like a plane,they’ll do so without feeling judged. The child welcomes that you join in the fun, but they don’tneed you in order to have fun.
In relation to women, being self amused is expressing how you feel without wanting anything inreturn. If you feel like approaching this woman, you do so because you feel like doing it, not becauseyou expect something from it.
Most guys focus on making making the girl react, but what I want you to start developing is focusingon making yourself react.
You’re not focused on saying things or doing things to game her, instead you’re focusing ongaming yourself.
If you say a joke,MIOGGI botox you say the joke because it’s funny to you, not because you want to get a reactionout of her. You won’t be peeking out of one eye to see if she’s laughing because you said the jokebecause it was funny to you. She just happened to be there.
When you begin to get in the habit of amusing yourself you become a fun person to be with. Notonly with other people, but with yourself. You can have fun without needing anyone to make itwhole. Nothing’s better than hanging out with someone who’s not trying to impress you andwho’s able to have fun regardless if you’re there or not.
This causes people to want to join in the fun because if they see you having fun on your own, theyfigure that you must be fun to hang out with. That’s the logic that causes women, and people ingeneral, to be drawn to you.
If you approach a girl and she’s acting in a way that makes you unsure how she’s feeling, youwon’t react automatically negatively to this out of defensiveness, you’re deriving your positiveemotions from your own self, not from her reaction. But when you’re focused on getting a goodreaction from her, any negative reaction causes you to lose your confidence.
Take back control and focus on making yourself react because that’s something that’s in yourcontrol.
5. Be a passionate
There’s a difference in the manner with which a passionate person expresses themselves asopposed to someone who lacks passion. They are more enthusiastic, and energetic, and the greatthing about it is that they’re enthusiasm is contagious, no matter what it is they’re talking about.
If you say anything with enough passion, it’s going to be perceived as more interesting than if youspoke without passion.
I’ve had a lot of women tell me that they love whenever I talk about anything relating topsychology and/or mindfulness because they can feel the passion behind my words.
Having a passion also means that your sense of self is not limited to only women. You find a greatdeal of pleasure in engaging in your passion which means that if you go home alone you won’t feelas bad. You have something to look forward to.
One of my passions is basketball. I know that if I don’t go home with a woman, basketball willalways be there for me. I can just forget everything and play ball.
Women want to know that you’re going to be alright if they happen to leave you because nothingsucks more than knowing that leaving someone will ruin their lives. That’s a huge load ofresponsibility to place on someone and something that most women wouldn’t want to take on.
6. Don’t take rejection personally
The most successful people in the world, particularly men who are good at interacting with women,differ in the way they react to “rejection” compared to men who don’t get how to talk to women.
I realized that when a girl rejects you, she really isn’t rejecting you, she’s just rejecting the idea ofbeing with you. The only reason why we take it personally is because our sense of self is attached tothe woman’s reaction (if she likes you or not).
When you begin to see that rejections happen every second of the day, you’ll realize that its no bigdeal.
Think about it, you reject people, I reject people, we all reject people on a daily basis. If we all tookevery rejection personally we would all be going nuts!
For the most part, women reject men because they either are having a bad day, or you caught themat a bad time. But we never see that. We think we’re the center of the universe and as a result shehad to reject me because of “me”.
No. Let go of that mentality. Realize that rejection is never personal and even if it was they’re justone person. They don’t know you so they can’t really reject “you”. They can just reject the ideathey have of you. With that mentality in place you’re able to leave with a smile after a girl rejectsyou. That’s how you become mentally strong.
7. Develop a positive self image
Men who are successful with women see themselves as being successful at interacting with women.Men who are not see themselves as someone who is not successful with women.
What do you think happens when you imagine yourself as someone who’s not successful atengaging with women? You usually feel a loss of confidence. You feel pity for yourself as a result ofthe self image you’re seeing in your mind.
But if you see yourself as someone who is successful with women, you’ll naturally feel themotivation to become that person. This desire will cause you to take action and inevitably make thisself image a reality.
But most guys don’t know that the self image is dynamic; you can change it. It’s not static.
By developing the self image of someone who us successful with women, rejection will not beperceived as a reflection of who you are as a person, but rather as feedback.
You may ask yourself, “how come this happens?”
It’s DR REBORN because if you perceive it it as a reflection of your self image, it will not be consistent with whatyou see inside, and as a result your mind will choose to ignore it.
The mind will only process feedback that strengthens the self image. That’s why if you believe youyou aren’t good at interacting with women, you’ll only notice the feedback that confirms your selfimage. Rejection will sting more and when a girl does not respond to your text it’ll hurt yourfeelings.
This is why confident people can take an insult with a smile because their minds don’t allow themto process what happened. They laugh at it because they know it’s not true.
So now that we know this, how do you change your self image? Simple. Just take 30 minutes a dayand envision who you’d like to become. Notice how women react differently to you and notice howyou react differently as well.
If you do this for about 30 minutes a day, this compelling future will become too exciting for you tosit around and not take actions towards achieving it.
The reason why I call them habits is because they take time to develop.
If you simply use the last exercise that I showed you about visualizing your ideal self for 30 minutes aday, and you see an image of yourself having already ingrained these 7 habits, you’ll feel like adifferent person, and if done consistently, your life will reflect those changes.